It has been five days since my last blog post – seems like forever, and so far removed from the start of the week!

It’s been a busy time. Been to work & back twice – once with PFH on Thursday, and once with LLGS on Saturday. Both later involved eating out in Stevenage – Thursday at Toby (where they were playing the original Land Of Confusion in the background!), whereas Saturday was also at Pizza Express in the Old Town. Thursday was out in the car, Saturday was getting off the train early on the way home.

This coming week also looks busy, with something for each day (except Friday & Sunday), and that is probably the way it’s going to get, between now and then. There is some fairly unusual stuff – by my standards!

p.s. Refund payment into my bank, from boots via Paypal finally arrived on Thursday past – 10 days after Boots refunded it. Debit card refunds don’t normally take so long!

Following the first day training for the LLGS Helpline on Saturday past in Islington, London, today was out by train, for the second day in London in the last four days, and the third day out of four. This was a day out was a Forum event organised by the umberella body behind the Prisoners Families Helpline (that I also volunteer for), Action for Prisoners Families, and also in Islington. This day was with regards to the various rules regarding sentencing and release. Naturally, two completly different days out.

Now, quietish till Saturday, although something else may well come up either before or after the weekend.

BTW, in a slight parody of the original Wayne's World, I am developing a rapid collection of name badges from training, meetings, conferences etc. and currently have the last two adhered to my Oystercard/Railcard wallet...

After the last two days at work, Saturday was always going to be different. Following almost 7,000 pictures on the HP Photosmart E327 digital camera that I bought almost two years ago, it might be time for a new one. After a problem with the card (that required another download to get it to work) a few months ago, as well as a few dents, it’s now time for a new one. So, after some looking around, I now have a Samsung ES15 10.2MP digital camera, plus delivery (BTW, I got the Silver one, not the pink or black ones!) Purchase from eBuyer was just under £70, including free soft case and 2GB card.

So, once everything had been delivered, we said we’d go out. We drove to the market town of Hertford, on Saturday market day. After parking the car, some market shopping, and going for lunch at The Six Templars, we continued to Saks Hair & Beauty around the corner. If you’ve seen my hair recently, it’s been growing now for six years – yes, pre-transition as well! This is the reason why I’d wanted to go today to have it done – well, Saffon Walden branch was full today, and this was next! After two hours of work, the stylist did a wonderful job at not only detangling it (the lump at the back was getting so much bigger!), but I did fancy a completely new look. Now this time, I did not go for a colour, just a cut and restyle, but this was a big enough step for one day! So, here I am, shortly before going back to the car… you can see all the pictures here.

Well, it’s been a fairly busy time of it, and I’ve had to be Mystic Suzy, again. Before I explain what happened on Sunday past, I’d like to bring you up to speed on a couple of other things.

Caroline agreed to purchase a new all-in-one laser printer – essentially similar to the existing Brother HL-2035, but with a scanner, fax and copier too – the MFC-7320. There was nothing strictly wrong with the last one, but it does mean that the inkjet fax (that I bought back in early 2002) is now finally replaced, and the scanner (which can only work with ONE short USB cable, and keeps slipping off the top of the PowerMac) can also be replaced. It also has an automatic document feeder. So, after some experimenting with scan file sizes (it comes with a CD for Windows, and another CD for Mac OS X series), I gave it a 64 page Inventory (as they call a fleet list) from RGRTA (a recent FOIL request!) in four sections, and it can scan one then another and another etc. – as well as scanning direct to PDF. In other words, something that might take me an hour or two, now takes a few minutes. While the majority of the service changes for 2009 have happened, the scanner will no doubt come in useful when it comes to digitising, and making short work of stacks of paper! It can also do dry, plain paper copies, that I can take with me without the ink running when taking it out in the rain! It’s not much more to buy the refilled carts for this one over the other one (and you get cheap drums too) – the price difference actually works as a saving, if you take into account the cost of buying inkjet carts for the old fax. Say nothing of the time I tried to refill one with black ink…!

So, after that at the end of the week, and a quiet day on Saturday, we got ready to travel to central London on Sunday morning. After I ended up withdrawing my application from another voluntary org (after some unfortunate narrow-mindedness) in late February, I was looking around for something else to add to what I’m currently doing. So, in March and April, I started looking around, and submitted an application to the London Lesbian & Gay Switchboard in mid-April 2009. Anyway, got called in for an interview (Sunday 6th September, 1415), so we decided that we’d both go to London, and have an afternoon of it.

Usual FCC train into London Kings Cross, Arriva Citaro MA15 on TfL service 73 to the stop before the Angel one-way system, so I can point out to C where I’d be going, then around the corners to have lunch at the nearby Wetherspoons, The Angel. After lunch, I got rather nervous, before walking back to the offices for an interview. It was a set of more-or-less fixed questions, and I must admit, I got very nervous. I don’t know if it was the thoughts of being rejected one more time or not, but something was. Anyway, made my apologies, but the two who were interviewing me were very kind and helpful in that regard. Afterwards, back to C in The Angel, and I thought I had a 50/50 chance.

Caroline finished her drink, and we crossed over for a Metroline TfL 43 bus (in preference to the Northern Line) to London Bridge. Once we figured out the temporary arrangements in regards to resurfacing the pavement and street furniture, two went past, but we did catch one new Enviro400 on this service to London Bridge. We went this way as Caroline wanted to go into Greenwich, and there was no DLR on this day south of Canary Wharf, and no Jubilee Line service at all. So, needless to say, the trains were all going to be busy! We got into London Bridge with a minute to go, so didn’t get that one. By the time we made it to the platform, the next SouthEastern train (10/12 mins later, 4 tph) wasn’t that far off.

We got off in Greenwich, walked up to the one-way system, and onto Greenwich Park. Now, this wasn’t a day for snapping up buses, but I did get rather interested to see this very unusual BMC bus of Travel with Hunny (a recent purchase for their ECC 392, but on the DLR rail replacement) in Greenwich.

Caroline and I then walked around Greenwich Park for a bit, although I was getting a bit tired. We stopped for a bit, before going for a Pizza Express. That seemed to re-energise us, and we went for the Thames Clippers boat service to London Waterloo, via the Thames. I did take a few pics of the pier, the boat, and more, and you can see them all here.

After that, we went via bus 148 to Victoria, quick stop here before returning to Kings Cross on another bendi 73 (albeit with a driver that kept the doors shut on stand, and was rather rude when anyone attempted to get near him!). Anyway, we got to Kings Cross with time to spare for our train back to Royston, tired but happy!

So, Monday was catching up with everything, and Tuesday was out at PFH. A very hot day didn’t help feeling a little tired, but I’ve survived! Today, Wednesday, and I’ve had a phone call from the person who arranged my interview at LLGS. I’m successful… even though I was very nervous, I did get through, and I’m starting training (one of two groups) on Saturday November 7th. Now, that is rather convenient, as the last of the Open University stuff goes in during early October. I’ve got no immediate plans to do another one, instead, hopefully, the training will go well. Of course, the Open Uni is very flexible, meaning I could put it on hold for as long as I liked, before continuing to my next course.

You’re probably wondering… well, the LLGS minimum commitment is two x three-hour shifts a month, which shouldn’t be too difficult. It’s more miles – around 46 miles by bus and train, in contrast with the 19.9 to/from PFH. However, by helpful train stopping patterns (London trains don’t stop at all stations – separate blog post to follow later in the week!), there is not much in it at all. The fast trains are under an hour, and just three stops away by bus, or about a 15 minute walk, would get me to LLGS, based on time from Royston station. When I get the train, and two buses to the PFH, it’s about 70 minutes on a good day. So, there is only a few minutes in it, all going well! It will allow me to build up my knowledge and skills, as well as getting out towards London more often. I intend to do this alongside work for the PFH, and do not intend to stop. As for health, well, it’s a good few weeks between now and starting the training course. This should give me more than enough time to get hold of the doc, and look at adjusting the pills. Now I see what they can do, might be worthwhile adjusting things.

Now, hopefully, it’s all starting to sink into place… but if not, here’s a little about the Switchboard. (Well, I did one for the PFH when I got my acceptance from them, so it’d be rude not to!)



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London Lesbian & Gay Switchboard (LLGS) provides an information, support and referral service for lesbians, gay men, bisexual, trans people and anyone who needs to consider issues around their sexuality.

All volunteers identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual, so you know that the person answering the telephone will have an understanding of your situation. Our volunteers won't judge you or tell you what to do; they will though provide suitable support, offer appropriate information, and discuss relevant options.

The helpline operates from 10am to 11pm, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year. Our helpline number is 020 7837 7324, the recruitment hotline for volunteers is 020 7837 7606, and our text phone number is 020 7689 8501.
Our information website queery.org.uk provides 24 hour access to our database of information and resources relevant to the LGBT community.
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(Other services provided can be found via this link)
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Needless to say, I’m rather happy!

Now, preparing for Saturday’s Anglia Bus Forum tour!

Just because this journal is getting a little quiet, does not mean that I’m not deep in thought.

I was feeling a little off key over the bank holiday, so managed to scrape by and put in the assessment that was due. The OU study has been an interesting time, in many ways. The time spent learning has been joined by problems with Word’s auto formatting tools, and problems in trying to use the same files on a Mac and a laptop PC. The same, you think? No! Then there was the evening when I actually physically broke the thumb drive that my work was on, due a few hours after that… aach well, it’s in now.

There is not long to go in these now (like another book project, which is happening on and off!), which leads me to my next thoughts. If I do more study, I won’t be doing two at a time – that was just a little much for me. One would have been fine, and I know this now!

It’s all about refinement, as well as contemplation in my mind, right now. Not just doing things, but refining what I do, and how I do it. There are a number of anniversaries coming up, and special dates in my mind. The fairly recent announcement about my former work reminds me that no matter how much you want the world to stand still, it doesn’t. I’ve been very lucky to have a supportive partner, and being able to do what I’d like to do, with the rest of my life. Well, within limits. I’ve been able to do things, see places, etc. that I wanted to. I’ve always got someone to bounce ideas off, and talk about things. I can do things that I think are interesting, rather than having to scrape myself through, just to break even.

Work yesterday – almost two years there now! Me working on a Tuesday afternoon, and the previous Friday morning, is a little different from the norm. I haven’t done a Tuesday for a while, but I’ve tried to assist by fitting shifts around others, where I can. Even got something a little different to sample on the journey to work, and the bus back again (again, unusual!).

Now, with uni and work all caught up with, I now have four quiet days to myself – three weekdays, and a quiet Saturday, before going out this coming Sunday. Think we are going out tonight. Otherwise, it’s time for more reflection and quiet times, preparing for the weekend.

It’s been a busy week.

As I mentioned before, we were out last weekend, and I bought some Garnier Herbashine 565 (Red Mahogany) crème colourant (hair colour), which C applied on Monday evening. I was out on Tuesday at work, swapping with the person who normally does this shift, as she couldn’t do this Friday. Got the book finally finished and launched on Friday, see separate post.

I’ve touched on the problems we’ve had with the doctor. Turns out that he’d not done a lot of the things we’d asked him to, often taking ages before getting a response within a few days, and blaming everyone else for these problems. After perusing our notes on Wednesday night at the surgery, it is a lot more of a detailed problem (and much more of it happening) than I’d first imagined. Detailed complaint ongoing, but we were very impressed with the female doctor we saw, and who deals with admin. We think we’d like to see her in future, and have asked for this. In the meantime, keep watching.

This week was not perfect. I did get some rather bad feelings throughout, and I thought these had passed. I remember my dad getting rather angry etc. around this stage too, and (with everything inherited and stuff) it seems as if this might be the start of a slope. When I mention that there are bad days and good days, I'd certainly had many bad days of late. Once again, I now find myself looking forward to a better week ahead.

This weekend, today is a quiet one. We’ve got a grocery delivery coming later, and might be heading out tomorrow.

It’s been an up & down week. I was certainly down Wednesday night, after some further correspondence from the doctor sent my long-awaited referral 400 miles to the north of it’s intended target. So, naturally, I was upset, and I felt so bad that I couldn’t carry on. However, Friday was better – even though the morning was wet, and the afternoon good at work. Saturday I was out in the morning to Royston, before going to Cineworld at Cambridge Leisure with Caroline to see Star Trek (see her post here).

I feel it’s been a bit of a “clumsy” week, and it’s maybe thanks to the two who love me most that I’m still around to tell the tale. Some weeks I can write blogs, letters etc. better than others. That said, C is beginning to wonder if it is cycling every so often. Maybe so.

All that said, I’m having a quieter day. See a few pics taken in Cambridge on Friday here, and Saturday in Royston here (latter includes pictures of the car washed!)

Looking back on the last seven days, it’s been a busy week. OK, so I lost my phone, and that added a little bit more work to it.

To add to the items since my last diary post, I made my 1000th post on my LiveJournal, got the first draft of my new book arrived for proofing, been out to Cambridge and work a few times, done CMA41 (Computer Marked Assessment 41 – the 1st one) for T175, and I’ve got TMA02 (Tutor Marked Assessment) to have a look through in the next few days.

Further to last Saturday’s developments, I’ve got the plans in place now for the new look BABUS website – an initial one-page design seemed favourable, so it will be a few pages similar to the previous one, plus a Bulletin Board to add once it goes live. (I’m hoping the domain transfers in the coming week). We’ve had the Sky engineer turn up, and they managed to fit it all first time (unlike when they had to get Special Heights Team in for my flat in Dundee). I’ve been keeping busy, having good times. As well as doing a copy of my book, I did Caroline and myself a printed copy of the first two years, and it’s been interesting to see how far I’ve came – and we’ve came – in that time.

Now, plans for the next week and a bit mean I might be quiet, but I will be around. Somewhere. Like today, and I went out briefly to catch up with the new bus in town – but came back soon after dropping off at the post office. You see, it’s been a busy week, and it’s been just nice to relax with Caroline.

Further to my last post alluding to a busy couple of days coming ahead, it’s happened. You see, it’s been quite a notable weekend.

Friday, and I went to Cambridge then onto Milton for work. Busy, as expected, and I offered to stay a little later to clear up the day’s administration. Having said that, one call stuck out. Not because of it being anything notable (and I can’t mention the specifics obviously), but because of what happened after it was done – the caller phoned back. To thank me for the suggestion, which resolved both of her problems. I’m not letting all this praise go to my head, but it’s maybe something new to me. I mentioned before that where I’ve worked in the past, management have passed on the complaints, but never the compliments. Oh, and no slip-ups (I didn’t fall over), but there was one problem with the train from Cambridge (the train comes from London express, that splits into two at Cambridge, one for Kings Lynn, and one goes back stopper to Kings Cross) that held me up on the way home for about ten minutes. Never mind, C was quite happy to wait for me, and we went for muchies afterwards!

So, after a long day at work, stopping for pizza, I’d barely had time to digest the days mail and web happenings, but I had to be up and out very early on Saturday morning. Out for the 0743ish train to Hitchin, before taking whichever bus that came first (in the end it was a 700 to Stevenage) into Hitchin town centre. I’d planned to get the 0840, but after arriving at Hitchin, St Mary’s Square at 0808, thought I might be able to run through to Bancroft for the 0810 – but no, never mind. Time for a quick wakeup snack before getting the M1 to Bedford, Stagecoach “Mars” Service M1, to Bedford, and Dart 34827.


There was a reason for the trip to Bedford, at early on Saturday morning. I’d been invited to a Executive Committee Meeting of the Bedford Area Bus Users Society (BABUS). I’m currently catching up with joining a number of local groups across the south and beyond, and this was one that I’d found out about via the link on the Stagecoach in Bedford local website, two years ago, when I was using the X5 every Friday from MK Coachway to Cambridge, to spend the weekend with Caroline. Anyway, I digress. This was the group that I mentioned had asked me in with a view to asking me to consider assisting with their website and bulletin board. The previous person who did the site has not been able to look after it any longer, and told the group some time ago, so the need has been somewhat urgent. After arriving at Bedford bus station, followed the directions (misread one, but got back in plenty of time!) to the Friends Meeting House.

This was a meeting of an extraordinary nature, largely as a result of my presence. Additionally, further related discussion was of the manifesto (something else that they want to go on the web), and issues with Service X5 (predominantly the stop at Parkside in Cambridge and the lack of local signage/facilities). One other person was also invited in on a similar basis to this, and we discussed a number of issues with the current service – although it was agreed the new coaches were very good, and a huge improvement on the earlier coaches (some being former Perth National Express vehicles, so they were on their last legs). There were a number of other issues re the X5 (in advance of their meeting with Stagecoach on such matters), including problems with the WiFi, and also the requirement for wheelchair users to book 48 hours in advance. I wondered why Stagecoach Scotland only require half of that time… we shall see.

I digress again. The main reason that they were there was to try and ask me to possibly look at the website and bulletin board. The chairman is one of my members, and I’d recognised the secretary from being sat in front of me earlier on the M1, I wondered when he was reading a Bus Users UK magazine, but decided not to say anything at the point. After a brief discussion, I agreed, and turned the tables around to ask what THEY wanted their website to do, and what I could do for them. The sec followed this up with “all our Christmas’s have turned up at once”. A discussion followed, and they decided to co-opt myself (and one other person) onto the Committee – in my case, with special interest and responsibilities for the website.

After all that came to an end, back to Central Bedford. Met Caroline off the Park & Ride - after a little while of not being in the right places - not helped by me leaving my phone somewhere! I defiantly had it on the M1 as I remember getting a message from Caroline to say that she had received her Gender Recognition Certificate, so I did want to congratulate her. Anyway, until I get my mobile back, no point in ringing or texting it!

We’d sat down at a Wetherspoon’s pub, but the kitchen had just been closed due to a pipe burst, so we ended up in an independent café/bar place the other side of the arcade behind the bus station. Food was nice, the place itself was okay. One more stop I think (when I spotted the former VT99 coach now repainted, and in use on the X5 – someone asked me for that the day after I was in MK last), and then back to River Street for Dart 33183 back to the Park & Ride.


After resting yesterday (a day without slip-ups, and one near thing - so very good, despite my knee still hurting quite often, and not being able to put any weight on it), caught up with paying things due (two domain renewals, hosting, etc.) plus a few other bits and pieces bought. This morning, via iTunes, purchased the National Rail app for my iPod Touch (for some reason, the free one is no longer usable, because Kizoom’s data licence has expired, just in time for National Rail to sell their own at £4.99 a time!), as well as Kelly Clarkson’s latest album. Her most recent song is stuck in my head, quite a lot of the time. However, once again for her, the lyrics matter – my life would suck, without my someone special! I also purchased one other track from quite a while ago, that I’ve heard a lot through the Magic Radio Player online at the moment – you may wonder why I’m after Neil Diamond, but have a look at the lyrics…

Where it began, I can't begin to know when
But then I know it's growing strong
Oh, wasn't the spring, whooo
And spring became the summer
Who'd believe you'd come along

Hands, touching hands, reaching out
Touching me, touching you
Oh, sweet Caroline
Good times never seem so good
I've been inclined to believe it never would

And now I, I look at the night, whooo
And it don't seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two, oh
And when I hurt
Hurting runs off my shoulder
How can I hurt when holding you

Oh, one, touching one, reaching out
Touching me, touching you
Oh, sweet Caroline
Good times never seem so good
Oh I've been inclined to believe it never would

Ohhh, sweet Caroline, good times never seem so good

She’s my Sweet Caroline, and I love her so much, for making all this in my life possible! Yes, My Life Would Suck Without You!

You can see the couple of pictures from Friday, and all the pics from Saturday, online now.

It’s been a busy week, dear reader. If you think I’ve been haring about up and down the A14, well, not yet. There will be time to try out the new high specification (it says here) buses on the 15/45/55. Seeing everyone else’s pictures, hopefully they will turn out to be better (or just as good) in the flesh! I’ve already seen several posts via Facebook “trying the WiFi on the 55”… well, it happened when it was new on the X5, Edinburgh routes, 900, etc. so why not!

You see, I’ve very busy this week, working on the 2009 edition of the Dundee Area Bus Fleetbook – the printed list of stuff for the Dundee Area Bus Forum coverage area. It’s going to be almost 50% bigger than last year, as I’ve included a lot of stuff that was asked for. The price has to go up, but not by 50% - jus enough to cover costs, and leave a little towards paying for the Forums for a few months. It doesn’t make me rich, and it is as much a reference for me, as everyone else! It’s almost ready to upload to Lulu, then get one printed off to check, before opening them for sale to the public in the next few weeks.

I’ve got Uni stuff to return to, and two more assessments before the end of this month, before I start dusting off the picture submissions for an Anglia Bus Fleetbook – new for 2009, but already going to be much bigger than everything else!

Speaking of things to do, I was approached a few weeks ago about looking after a website and a forum board, for a group. Going to their committee meetings tomorrow, and if all that is sealed, then I should be able to talk about it. I did notice that their website hadn’t been updated for some time… but they asked, I didn’t even have the chance to offer. Apparently the guy had heard of the work I did on the Anglia Bus Forum, and was rather happy with the way I operate it.

I’m getting a reputation – and a good one! It’s not going to make me rich, but as long as I’m comfortable, in more ways than one…

… and there is something else that I will come back to in due course (hopefully) as something else has caught my eye.

I’m asked often how I got into public transport, and the truth is, I just don’t know for certain. My dad was a conductor with Dundee Corporation Transport, but only for two weeks, before returning to his own trade as a baker. We always used public transport, as no one in our family could drive. I remember vaguely spotting a service change poster or something, and it went from there. Just like the transition thing, it was always the right thing to do – just, like so many other things in life, I was unable to pin it down to one specific incident or moment in my life. With transition, I just knew by the age of six that I could/should/would change. As for everything else that comes with it – well, that comes and goes. I hoped that one day, I would have changed, and be comfortable, enjoying what I was doing, but not necessarily working in transport. Health has been a problem, but we’re now happy and comfortable. Yes, sometimes things get in the way, and I am in no way rich…. But getting along.

Anyway, soon off to work, where I can swap typing about places such as Rottal (a village in the Angus Glens, served by two school buses) for talking about ROTL…

Almost right on cue (3 days after falling twice in central London) my right knee is starting to reduce the swelling, but the bruise is starting to bloom. The left knee is also slightly decorated too.

We're going out tomorrow, and I've got work on Friday. As for the rest, maybe take it!

In the meantime, a quiet Easter Sunday, with no snow this year!
 

It’s been a week of swings and roundabouts – ups and downs. The main bit of the week has been keeping exceptionally busy, with OU work, book projects, and other things besides.

Monday, printer repair guy came, and finally resolved the issue after many attempts – put it down to a stiff hinge! Never mind, all is well now, it’s printing away happily once more. Monday night and an appointment at the doc turned out to be a waste of about an hour and a half – as he’d not called us in – and several of his other regulars said they’d had calls to come in too, but didn’t know why. His overtime payments form was top of the pile, so it’s nice to see priorities are in order! That night, naturally, I was a bit upset, as I felt I was still no further forward, and I feel that, maybe, we’re being lead up a blind alley here. Time will tell.

Tuesday, called Sandyford, to see if I could speak to someone (did get the timetables out to do a Tuesday morning journey to Glasgow at short notice, but I was tired enough, say nothing of the journey!) At the end of the afternoon, I spoke to Dr Ewan, who is willing to put together a letter for the surgeon, and ask them to look at it. Also had an unsolicited email of praise from the office, and the bit that caught my eye was;
“Positive feedback for you - I had a lady on Monday who said she had spoken with a very helpful friendly lady called Suzy on Fri ...and then went on to the next part of the problem - well done, she obviously appreciated your gentle caring approach with her and the clear explanations etc you gave her ...so all your efforts are paying off.”

Wednesday, and C’s mailbox has been hijacked! I also had to fax a hell of a lot of stuff around to Sandyford once more, asking them to add a bit more to the letter, after a response from the surgeon’s PA saying that wasn’t what she needed. I’ve given them permission to speak to each other – and I hope they do. Maybe slightly quicker than my own GP – but we shall see. I know that I am very lucky that I’ve got the alternative option. Anyway, in the afternoon, we had a grocery delivery due, and the guy arrived a little before the 1700-1900 slot requested. However, this meant I cook C a surprise from what was delivered, rather than using the existing contents.

Thursday was my 5 years tranniversary – five years to the day I transitioned, 9th April 2004 (Good Friday, ironically). Since then they’ve mostly been apart – the 9th of April and Good Friday – but this year, just the one day! Anyway, busy morning catching up on stuff, and out to London and Milton Keynes for the afternoon. Stopped in London first, picked up some stuff that Malc had left for me (exchange of packages at reception in his absence!) before continuing to Victoria. At Victoria, tripped and fell forward at the top of the stairs – in front of some tourists, commuters, and a couple of blokes at the hotel kiosk, who just happened to be not doing anything…

… Anyway, after a look round Victoria, back to Euston, for a train to MKC. However, not straight forward as I’d hoped. I left the northbound Victoria line train, and started walking along the passageway to the escalators. Fell forward, straight down. Again. This caused a little more panic with the passengers, but I thanked them, picked myself up, and carried on. Was a bit weird to see a large section of escalator in front, and behind, me, empty. Guess it was for the best. Anyway, carried onto Euston for a train to Milton Keynes Central (well, a London Midland Siemens Desiro to Northampton), and pulled up my skirt to reveal the two big chunks out of my right knee. For a journey of about 50 minutes that only stopped at Leighton Buzzard and Bletchley, I got out, and up the stairs at MKC. It was at this point that I found out my knee had swollen, and walking and climbing the stairs was exceptionally painful. I had to stop again, but soon carried on, limping on. Went into Subway for a snack, took some painkillers, before getting MK Metro’s 22 to the Open University at Walton Hall…

… where I’d volunteered to go for a Focus Group on the new Student Induction Web resources. It was good to see the buildings for the first time – and, paying the travel costs meant I got an afternoon out of it too. Early evening, back by taxi to MKC (keep the receipt etc… LOL!) and then via Euston and Kings Cross again back to Royston, where C was waiting to pick me up at 2150, after almost nine and a half hours away. The pain to my knee was very unusual – having two falls and several near things in one day probably didn’t help.

Today (Friday) it’s been resting my right knee initially, but I’m up and about now. Still hurting quite badly, and it’s raining out there right now. Hopefully it will not snow as it did last Easter!

It's been a busy little while, and I'm trying to catch up, certainly showing off all my hats that I wear this week!

Yesterday, myself and seven of my colleagues attended a wonderful meeting/training day (whatever you want to call it) organised by Action for Prisoners Families at Peterborough Cathedral. Wonderful venue, interesting talks, and some interesting facts and discussions came out of it. Interestingly, in addition to providing us with the Benedict Rooms, the Cathedral provided each of us with a 15% Discount card for the adjoining Gift Shop - so, a little bear in a Friar's black robe came home with me, with a couple of other items! (Caroline has already named him Rasputin...)

Anyway, today, I was hoping to see the doc, but he's the only one in, and it is emergencies only. Never mind, I shall have a "quiet" day! We are going away for a couple of days tomoorrow to celebrate our forthcoming 2 year anniversary, it's not long till my 5 years of transition anniversary, plus, I've got a TMA to put in by the 31st. So, the latter is taking priority later today and tomorrow, but I am catching up with other things today, as much as I can. Additionally, my eBay purchase from shullie  has not long turned up!

Join in Suzy’s quest for a new challenge – on ice!

OK, longer term readers will be well aware that, back in Autumn 2007, I’d started looking for voluntary work… and narrowed it down to three. Started with one, as you know, and still there sporadically. Other one I’d never heard back from, but the third one have just moved, and I got a letter from the organisation in question at the end of last month (see the end of this post). So, last week, while on route to Buckinghamshire, I had a phone call to come in to see them today.

So, first step was to get ready, and get out. The snow had started to melt, but quite a lot had turned to ice (minus ten in Chesham overnight!), so dressed semi-formally to suit. 

Next was going for the train, and Live Departure Boards (LDB) said it was going to be late. After walking out of the close, started to slip/slide, don’t quite remember why. All I remember is almost falling over, and then looking around, thinking to myself “I think I got away with that”.

Next I knew, face and knees first onto the ice!
Woman’s voice and a dog from the other side of the road “Are you alright?”
Me “Yes thank you”
So I am used to falling over, but I remember thinking to myself that there was a long way to go… I was barely onto Gower Road!

Anyway, through some miracle, I manage to limp into Platform 2 of Royston Station, and the emergency timetable is sadly, already in tatters. I knew this was going to be late from LDB, but it ended up being 23 minutes down, no sign of the train due between, and none of these odd Royston – Kings Lynn 4-car shorts.

While waiting at the station, surveyed my damaged left knee, quite a wide set of cuts, and my hands too. Oh, and another pair of tights for the bin when I get home! Cleaned up my left knee with a wet wipe, and placed the wipe and wrapper in a paper hankie. Subconsciously somehow, I placed the top of the wipe wrapper inside my right coat pocket.
 
Made it to Cambridge, before getting the bus into town. An Italian visitor was looking for directions to Parkside coach stop, so I pointed that she should get off at Regent Street, and then go from there. Apparently, her flight back to Italy the night before had been cancelled, following weather issues.

Mine was the next stop, at the Post Office. After backtracking just a few yards, I ended up at the door of Cambridge Magistrates Court, and through the obligatory metal detector, before being waved down with the paddle. The metal detector kept picking up something in my pocket, despite the fact that it was empty. After taking out the tiny bit of paper in there, it set off the detectors. Yes, the top of the sachet that the wet wipe came in was metallic, and that kept setting off the metal detector.

So, up three floors of this brand new building – I’d passed it many times when going for the bus to Milton etc. – and met the people from the Witness Service at Victim Support. After catching up (it was well over a year and a half since we’d last communicated!), we talked about – and to cut a long story short, I’m starting training in March as a Witness Support Volunteer, assuming all references and CRB checks etc. are fine.

So, why do I want to do something else? An extra day a week out the house, in the midst of studying, just might be a welcome break. We talked about issues with being able to cope with upset people, aggression and anger. Personal experience of other less hospitable surroundings, including my time on the underground, seemed to help. It’s something that I would certainly like to try, and give it my best.

After being talked and shown round, left just before lunchtime. Went back for a bus and train back to Royston, went smoothly enough. I get back home, and it’s been one thing after another… never mind, if I do what everyone else is doing right now, and blame the weather… then I should be fine!

Now… Caroline will be home soon, and we can have a quiet one, and enjoy the evening…

It has been a busy week – as ever, at this time of year! I am a little behind with things, but I think I’ve caught up to most. I’ll be doing another transport post later, but first, here’s what I’ve been up to.

I can now say that all the cards (paper and email), plus the rest, are all done. Some fairly positive feedback from the calendar distribution exercise earlier, and you can download the calendars online - ABF or DABF.

Oh, and if I’ve not managed to track you down, or email you a Christmas Card from the two of us, please feel free to download one here.

Monday 15th December, I went into Cambridge, for the first of two days back-to-back. Monday started with a trip to Boots Opticians in town, following a request from Caroline. After various checks, no further assistance (glasses etc.) needed – the last time I’d been to an optician was three and a half years ago, after I’d started transition, but before HRT. They do say that the latter can help such matters, apparently. The second half of the day was an appointment at Cambridge Regional College Riverside Studios, for a blend epilation (electrolysis) session on the face. It was my first one, and not as painful as I’d imagined it might be! After dropping in some gifts on the way back for the train (and grabbing copies of the other local train timetables for circulation to friends), I went back to Royston.

Additionally, I had put a Freedom of Information request into the local healthcare trust (PCT) re policies on moving and gender dysphoria policies. This was for the avoidance of doubt, and to understand where we stood – as my meds are prescribed, but Caroline’s were private, following previous issues. Now, last week, I, allowing the usual timescales, forwarded my issue to the Information Commissioner (despite all my FOI and FOIL requests in the UK and the US, this was the first time I’d had to make such a move!), who discussed the matter with the PCT’s FOI person at the QEII hospital in Welwyn. Now, to give him his due, he was most apologetic, and very helpful, once I got a reply. He promised to obtain the document from the East of England Specialised Commissioning Group of the NHS (all the East of England PCT’s together), and I got this 20-page (or 5 page summary) document whilst out in Cambridge. It was a bit big for the phone to digest, so I had a look at the PDF when I got home. Having read through this, I then made dinner for Caroline, as she had some reading to do! The new policy, done this summer, was a step change, based on what Caroline had encountered from the previous PCT in the past.

Tuesday 16th December, I went into Cambridge, and onto Milton to work. Firstly, some excellent news, even if I do say so myself. You may recall I mentioned that the helpline funding was up for tender, on the basis of one centre providing the service (rather than two), with some funding from HMPS/NOMS somewhere. Well, the bids went in, and from April, we’ll be sole service provider, for one year initially. My boss was stuffed with the cold, but still managed to plough on. I’d come in just before 1300, to find one of our new volunteers had stayed back to meet me (before going around 1310) – which impressed me! Our callers will be aware that we do a quarterly Ethnic Monitoring Survey. This used to be an A4 sheet, with tick boxes for Ethnic Origin, Gender, and a one-line entry box for entering the place they were calling from, which I had to translate into one of the areas (which overlap with the service areas in England and Wales). Apparently, it previously took them several days per quarter, but only took me a day and a bit, or two if mixed with other tasks – part geographical knowledge, part typing speed! I decided to do a redesign on the form, to add in a tick box for each area, and a few other refinements (such as a “Other/Not Specified” box under gender!) the form was approved. So, I was able to input just over 300 forms in little over three hours – an improvement on my own speed too. When taking the calls and completing the forms (in November), it’s easier to give just three tick boxes, and the form is mostly complete – a little change being the most effective! After work, back into Cambridge, and sat at Costa at The Grafton for a bit, before going back to CRC for an early evening appointment, for an arm wax. Caroline didn’t think it was needed, but is very impressed with the smoothness since!

Wednesday 17th December, and we’d gone into see our doctor – well, I booked an appointment for Caroline, so she could discuss the above, and her requirements for completing a form for Caroline’s GRC application. Again, to give him his due, he wasn’t aware, but he appreciated all the documents, and would make sure it was done. So, it looks like our slight one-sided abnormality regarding meds may well be resolved in the new year – certainly, legally as well as per policy, it looks like it has to be done. We shall see, but it would be another excellent boost to the New Year.

Wednesday evening, I’d given up with the Mac PowerBookG4, as it’s beginning to wear out. This is noticeable when the trackpad doesn’t work, and needs a mouse to be plugged in and removed several times… that, and the most annoying bit is the random keys. You are typing something, and suddenly the logic in it was all lost, and it took what you typed in to be a combination of Turn Down Brightness, Mute Volume, Activate Expose (F11) and type random gibberish. I don’t need help with the latter, as you’ve just proven. So, Wednesday night spent transferring, and this continued into Thursday. I’ve got the laptop for “duvet days”, and the PowerMac that I had in the study before, minus the monitor that would fall on my fingers. The laptop will be intended for studying with in the new year, too. Additionally, I’m trying out a combined mail function homepage and Outlook sync thingy from mail2web.com – works well for now, and also pushes all my mail to one place, and the iPod. Further experimentation is required, to get the right balance.

Thursday 18th December, and busy! I’ve been out briefly, after a request from a recipient of one of the printed cards for another for her mother, and picking up the long purple coat that I put in for dry cleaning and repairing last week. Now home, and busy as ever, but hello to transprose , who I found while clicking today.

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So, what have we done of note in the last week and a bit? Health has been good and bad, but looking back, we have managed a fair bit.

On Tuesday 11th, I travelled to work for the afternoon. The tender is now out to provide a revised service for the Helpline (based on one centre being sole provider, rather than two) from April 2009, with some new funding from within the Prison service, I understand. Having said that, whatever happens, I’m still giving my occasional assistance, whenever I can, in the meantime.

Thursday 13th, and Caroline had booked the afternoon off work. We went out via Saffron Walden (to purchase some of the new Essex timetable books – well over 500 pages each!) before driving via Cambridge ring road and towards the retail park, before parking up at Cambridge Newmarket Road Park & Ride, before going for an early dinner at La Tasca, before taking C to an evening appointment at CRC’s Riverside Studios. I’d booked C for a back massage, eyebrow work for the both of us, as well as deforesting my legs with wax. Well, it worked, not too bad, and I wasn’t covered with cuts afterwards, which was a bonus! After all that, we drove back to Royston in the evening.

On Saturday 15th, we left Royston around lunchtime. As Caroline filled up with fuel at Tesco, and was about to drive off, I spotted one of Arriva’s new Optare Versas for Service 331 – these have been expected for some time, and I got her to stop for a rushed shot! After this, we drove to Cambridge  via a charity Christmas Gift Fair in Littlebury Green, which I’d heard about via a flyer at Saffron library on Thursday), with a wide selection of stalls, but a charitable purpose in Buffy Bus Uttlesford (it’s a playbus). We had a browse of the stalls, and ended up with a fair bit! We’ve got a couple of hand puppets from Phantoyzia – C fell in love with the fox, whereas I decided to go for a moggy… so C decided to go for a little mouse as well! I went back for a look at the chocs from the Cuddly Wuddly Chocolate Company (I kid you not, you can read where the name came from on the website!) and then a quick browse at the soaps from Second Nature, although I took a catalogue for later (the chocs had already taken enough of my expenditure, and I didn’t want the two strong smells to mingle on the way home!)

Monday 17th, back at work, and I was putting the finishing touches on the updates I’d been working on. On the way there, I had a look at the newly-finished Milton Park & Ride, which had opened at the junction of the A10 (north of Cambridge) and Butts Lane (footbridge towards Milton over the A10) the previous day. As I’ve mentioned here before, it’s a replacement for Cowley Road. You can see all the pics I took before work here. On the way home, I went with Caroline to Addenbrooke’s Hospital for her evening ultrasound appointment. I met up with her at Trumpington Park & Ride (I’m not collecting them or anything, honest!), before taking the H1 to the hospital (and back again).

Tuesday 18th was spent like today (Wednesday 19th), catching up, and tomorrow (Wednesday 20th) I will have to disappear for a bit… but keep watching, as I will be back!

Well, it’s been quite a while since my last non-server/web or transport/book post – just a few lines here and there.

State of the Suzy

Pills – I’m now completely off the Duphaston, and have had a number of feelings in the last few days and weeks. This could (probably) have been just “time of month” related feelings, as well as upset, insecurity, the usual. Not justified, but inevitable perhaps. We’ve both been feeling a little worse than usual this past week – and being stuck indoors with the weather didn’t help. Also, inbetween packs of my usual Estradiol Valarate - Progynova, I tried some of C’s Climival. Now, the only difference that I could see was that Progy are sugar-coated, but maybe my body missed one of the non-active ingredients. Or maybe things were just so bad, that it didn’t help.

So, the short of it is that I’ve managed to edge myself off this discontinued product, with no noticeable changes to the way I look, or long-term feelings. Now, lets see what happens over coming weeks and months…

Study – yes, indeed. This is to happen from the end of September, and I’ve signed up for two 30-point Open University courses, M150 and T175. These will take me to the end of June 2009 – by this time, I will be sure if I want to continue and go for a more advanced Computing qualification, or if I want to mix it in with some other units, and make a combined degree. To work with this, I’ve just purchased a new laptop running Vista. Lots of updates required, think I’ve got them all. I didn’t know my boss was an Open Uni graduate herself. Speaking of work…

Work – continues, as required now and then. I will be coming back to it around the start of my studies. The complete Helpline Independent Evaluation report that I mentioned before, is now on the web.

Moving/Caroline & the rest – was intending to be up north from next week, to start getting packed up. But, C is intending to go visit a former colleague in Berkshire next weekend… so, I’ve (somehow) managed to talk her into making it into a weekend away for the two of us – after all, C’s birthday is just a week away, and bank holidays aren’t really a good time to travel, if you can avoid it – but I will be in Scotland again soon enough.

Overall – feeling about the same as ever, some bad days, some good days. Made some significant progress over the last few days and weeks. (Admittedly, a few days did seem like I could not continue, but those were just a few…!)

There were some good moments yesterday. I got sight of the report commissioned into the work of the helpline that I currently volunteer for. This was actioned by our umbrella parent body Action for Prisoners Families, because the funding we have is requiring replenishment, this was done to ensure that we were can justify bidding for monies etc. Earlier this year, a couple of hundred callers were asked if they would allow us to do a phone back interview, and these were done externally. It's a very positive indication that we are doing the right thing! The key highlights are...

Is the service needed?
It is clear from this evaluation that the Prisoners’ Families Helpline is providing
a much-needed service for the families and friends of prisoners. The statistics
show that there is an ever-increasing demand for the service and most of the
callers we interviewed during this evaluation said they could not imagine how
they would have coped without the Helpline.

Who uses it?
Over three-quarters of callers said they had called the Helpline for the first
time. Not surprisingly, parents and partners of those in prison constituted the
largest proportion of callers to the Helpline.

Can callers access it easily?
The service is easily accessible. The fact that it is a free Helpline was
extremely important to the majority of callers as many are coping with difficult
financial situations. Almost all callers reported that they got through to the
Helpline straightaway. The Helpline also provides a service to an ethnically
representative group of people.

What help do callers want from the Helpline?
Callers appear to view the Helpline primarily as a source of information
however almost half had also sought support from the Helpline. The vast
majority of callers had rung the Helpline in a state of distress, confusion or
frustration. Almost half of the calls taken by the Helpline were complex in
nature, requiring a high level of involvement and skill from the call-takers.

Is the Helpline providing a high-quality service?
All callers felt that the call-takers had dealt with them in a polite, sensitive and
supportive manner and over 90% of callers said they had received the
information and support they wanted from the Helpline. As a result, levels of
satisfaction with the level of service were extremely high. This was clearly
reinforced by the fact that there were no significant suggestions made for
improving the service.

What difference does the Helpline make to callers?
Calling the Helpline appears to make a considerable difference to callers in a
range of ways. For many people, calling the Helpline had made an immediate
and positive difference to how they were feeling and over two-thirds of callers
described feeling better in the longer-term as a result of speaking to the
Helpline. The fact that someone had listened to them and understood what
they were going through had been enormously helpful and had relieved a lot
of stress and frustration.

Almost two-thirds of callers felt better supported having contacted the Helpline
and over half of this group told us that knowing they could go back to the
Helpline when they needed to made a real difference to them. As a result,
some callers felt that they could cope better with their situation and were more
in control.

For a smaller number of people, calling the Helpline had not only resolved
some issues for them but also for their relative in prison. In addition, a small
number of callers said that contact with the Helpline had led to a positive
effect on children in the family.

Recommendations
This external evaluation has confirmed and reinforced the value of the service
provided by the Prisoners Families Helpline and no significant
recommendations for improving the service emerged from the interviews with
callers.


Some comments made by callers to the  Prisoners’ Families Helpline
 
They were wonderful.
 
They were very understanding and kind and made me feel better.
 
A brilliant service. I wish I'd have known about it earlier.
 
They were very understanding and offered lots of information which arrived
the next morning. I was astounded.
 
They do a marvellous job. I couldn’t fault it at all. Thank God they were there.
 
Make sure it doesn’t disappear!
 
Now that I know I can speak to them, I will call them again to talk about how to
deal with my children.
 
They were efficient, quick and helpful. A useful link in terms of dealing with the
prisons.
 
I think they are absolutely wonderful and wouldn’t be able to cope without
them.
 
Everything I wanted and asked for, I got from them.
 
They delivered 100%. An absolutely fantastic service. Lots of people like
myself wouldn't know what to do if it wasn't there.

It’s been days, weeks since I had my last set of upsets. The last few weeks has really gone well, but yesterday was something different.